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You believe you’ve finally found the one and it’s cute that you want to be with them all the time. Well, science has another opinion: 2 dates per week is more than enough, for reasons you may not think about while you’re busy feeling butterflies.
Here, at Bright Side, we’ve gathered up what psychology has to say about your romance schedule to help you build a better and longer-lasting relationship with your partner.
1. It prevents artificial bonding.
Scott Carroll, psychiatrist and author of Don’t Settle: How to Marry the Man You Were Meant For, marks the importance of sticking to 2 dates per week at the beginning. According to Carroll, seeing each other often may also cause anxiety, which may cause problems and ruin a potentially good relationship. You may be pushing yourself into an unhealthy relationship, blinded by the emotional bond. Giving yourself some time between your dates will help give you a clearer view of your newly started relationship.
2. It keeps your personal space personal.
According to Prof. Dr. Terri Orbuch’s study called “The Early Years of Marriage Project,” the divorce rate is higher among couples who have privacy issues than couples with unhappy marriages or physical intimacy problems. If you want to commit to a long-term relationship, it’s important to live your personal life however you want to. While in a relationship, you should maintain your individuality and freedom, rather than relying on someone else too much. To achieve this, take some days off from each other, being clear about your needs, and get some me-time, especially when you’re getting to know someone new.
3. It gives you time to get to know each other better.
You don’t have to rush into a 24/7 relationship to get to know someone better or to create an instant connection. If it’s supposed to last, it’s best to relax and enjoy your time together to the fullest and remember: in the best case scenario, you’ll have a lifetime together. So there’s no need to miss the best days you have as a couple and worry about the future. Seth Meyers, Psy.D. also says that giving each other time to show your true selves will minimize a potential heartbreak and allow you to reflect, since you’ll have time to process.
4. It allows you to build a friendship.
Psychological research conducted in 2014 shows us that couples who describe each other as “close friends” sustain better relationships, compared to the ones who think they are “soulmates.” Although it doesn’t sound like a plot of a romantic movie, connecting at a personal level first may help you have a life-long relationship. When you meet someone special, try getting to know them at a slower pace. Seth Meyers says: “The best way to protect a new relationship is to use caution, and not see each other too frequently. When you encounter a new potential friend, for example, you probably don’t rush to see that friend several times per week after you first meet. Why should the guidelines for starting a romantic relationship be so different?”
What do you think of this dating rule? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
Preview photo credit Vanilla Sky / Paramount Pictures