In the movie The Wedding Planner, Jennifer Lopez’s character was a wedding organizer who was able to accurately predict exactly how long a certain marriage would last based only on the song that the fiancé and the bride chose for their first dance. It is quite interesting that in real life, wedding photographers also have their own divorce statistics which they love sharing with the people who want to see the future of a relationship.
There are so many different stories about how the behavior of a couple during the wedding and some other incidents influenced the fate of their family in the future. But photographers have a chance to watch couples through the lens for many hours. Of course, they are not always experts when it comes to relationships. However, their experience is based on real facts and can be really useful. Bright Side has collected the most common observations that wedding photographers make and compared them with the opinions of psychologists. Take a look at the curious tendencies that we have noticed. At the end of the article, there is a video that shows how you can really understand how newlyweds feel about each other during the wedding.
It happens often that photographers make trial photo shoots with clients before the wedding itself. This is necessary in order to understand from which angles the couple looks the best and what exactly they want from their photos. Sometimes, one of the partners can feel shy in front of the camera. This is perfectly normal. Such meetings are necessary to make such moments clear. However, there are many cases when one of the newlyweds doesn’t want to find a compromise for the other partner and becomes mad during the wedding itself and refuses to take part in the shooting. Such people even threaten the photographers. The photographers say that such marriages only last a few months.
Psychologists think that the ability to make compromises is the foundation of a long-term relationship. This is why the ability to discuss problems and find a balance can prevent a divorce.
Many photographers try to avoid staged photos where a fiancé or a bride look bad. For example, one of them pulls the other person’s hair and threatens them using a plate or something else. Yes, it’s possible that such things happen in the family life. But anyway, a wedding is a celebration where you want to capture the happy moments to look at the photos later and have positive emotions. Photographers add the people who insist on such staged photos to the list of potentially divorced. Cutting the cake takes a special place. One member of the couple may throw a piece of cake into the other person’s face and the latter tries to get back at them. Such situations are considered to be worrying signals by photographers.
The combination of such factors as criticism, contempt, resentment, and opposition is what psychologists call “the divorce recipe.”
For some photographers, it is a huge challenge to take a picture of the newlyweds together. If there are too many pictures where the fiancé is with his friends, and the bride is with hers, it is a worrying sign. Of course, guests should be paid attention to. But, according to photographers, the people who really love and respect each other should do it together.
Psychologists agree that spending time together, having some rituals or even responsibilities, especially in situations when it’s clearly important to both of them, makes relationships stronger. Opposite situations, on the other hand, lead to the end of a relationship.
Brides do this more often. When she is obsessed with the idea of a perfect wedding at any cost, she forgets that there is another member of the team — the fiancé. In such cases, photographers have to take pictures of the bride wearing her 6 different dresses and the fiancé who is bored and tired because he was forgotten. Another really extreme situation is when one of the newlyweds tries to keep everything under their control. They get so stressed that they might act very harshly towards their soulmate. Photographers claim that such marriages don’t last more than 1-3 years.
Psychologists think that if someone is obsessed with the idea of a perfect wedding, the marriage is a bad idea. You should always remember that the celebration day will end and the real family life will start.
Photographers often manage to capture the moment when a fiancé or a bride is giving a speech and a grimace of horror and shame appears on their faces. For example, one fiancé said that when he registered on a dating website, he hadn’t even hoped that he would find a chef and a cleaner in one person. Some people like remembering arguments that happened a long time ago. These things mean that the marriage won’t survive for long.
According to the research, the couples where both partners value each other have a better chance for a long and healthy relationship. And you shouldn’t estimate the value in numbers but in the sincere respect and gratitude.
Photographers have a unique chance to not only focus on certain parts of life but even collect files to see certain tendencies. Their discoveries can even be confirmed by the opinions of experts in this field. But you should remember that sometimes certain signals can be caused by stress or exhaustion after the preparation for the wedding. And the absence of signs doesn’t mean that the marriage will be happy and will last for a long time. A relationship is not based on a bunch of signals. Have you ever been to a wedding and noticed some things that could be considered a warning sign for a future divorce?
Preview photo credit kevinweddingplanner / instagram