Not all of us feel skillful in holding conversations but there are many psychological tricks and tips that can help you start a dialogue and draw others around you. These hacks are used by both psychologists and simple people in their everyday lives.
Bright Side found 22 psychological tricks for you that really work.
If you don’t know what to talk about, let your conversation partner tell you about themselves. Use active listening: nod, ask open and clarifying questions, show your empathy if the moment is sad and smile if your partner is saying something funny. In order to make contact with a person, try synchronizing your breath with the breath of your conversation partner. Usually this trick is used by psychologists, but the question “Did I understand you correctly that…?” can be useful for any person. It will make your conversation partner realize that they were listened to carefully and they will be able to assess themselves more critically. This piece of advice is not very ethical, but it’s effective: If you want to feel more confident among others, imagine that you are a king or queen and the others are your servants. Don’t overplay. In order to stop feeling uncomfortable at an event or a party, arrive there a little earlier. It will give you time to choose a comfortable place and to get used to the environment or people. Additionally, people that are late usually get more attention than those who arrived on time or earlier.
If you need to collect your thoughts urgently and give a speech, but you don’t feel confident, say to yourself, “I think I….” and describe the emotions and worries that you are feeling. This will allow you to abstract and look at yourself from the side. If you know that someone wants to criticize you or your ideas at a work meeting, sit next to them. It will calm this person down a little. Don’t place any bags, books, or other things between you and your conversation partner if you are sitting at one table. If you have something and you don’t know where to place it, hold it with one hand. If you hold it with both hands, it will give the impression of a closed pose. To make your thought sound weighty, say that you heard it from parents or teachers. If you are quarreling with a conversation partner, don’t stand opposite to them, but instead stand next to them — it will help decrease the degree of drama.
Pay attention to the color of a person’s eyes when you are being introduced to him and smile at the same time. Your eye contact will last for a couple seconds and build up a person’s good attitude toward you. If somebody tells an offensive joke about you, ask them to repeat the joke or to explain it. In this case, the joke won’t be funny anymore, while the person will feel embarrassed. When you say “I need help,” a person feels important and needed even if you simply asked them to lend you a pen. If you’ll need to shake someone’s hand, warm your hands up in advance. Warm hands create a better impression.
If your conversation partner asks you inappropriate questions, interrupt them and ask them questions too. Reflect his speech, change the topic, and don’t let him pull himself together. It will make him stop asking you these questions. If you can’t say no to a person who constantly asks you for favors, start asking them to do something too. The more, the better. If you were invited to an event or a party and you are not sure whether you want to stay there for a long time, let them know in advance that you will come but you don’t know for how long you can stay because you are waiting for an important call. Imagine that you have already been hired during a job interview and your current meeting was arranged to discuss the terms and make sure, once again, that it was the correct choice.
If you want to convince people of something, remove the phrases “I think that…” and “It seems to me that…” from your speech. If you have borrowed someone’s food container, return it filled with cookies. It’s not expensive but this person will immediately feel sympathy for you. If you have difficulty remembering people’s names, pronounce the name that you’ve just heard a couple times during the first conversation with the person. It will help you remember their name better and build up a person’s good attitude toward you. Improve your mood before a meeting so that you feel happy. It will make the people you are going to meet feel happy too and they will associate their good mood with you. Emotions are connected with memory. If you make people feel joy and laugh, they will remember you and those memories will be good.
What other psychological tricks are you aware of? Please tell us about them in the comments!